i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
