so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
