I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize