We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
