im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize