What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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