Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
