ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have demons in me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
