Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
