Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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