Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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