Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
