love makes seman taste better
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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