i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
