too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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