i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You've changed since you got that strap on
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
