I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
