you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
