Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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