I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
