apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize