epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
