some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
