Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
