what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
