well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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