If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
