Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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