Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
