We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
