I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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