Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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