Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I love you.
Bad choice
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