Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Girls should come with a carfax report
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
