ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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