I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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