i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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