i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
