mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
