After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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