Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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