im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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