Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
