so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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