based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
