did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
