dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
