I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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