i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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