Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
