"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
