I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
