last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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