We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
