No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
