I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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