Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You need a sexual gate keeper
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
