Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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