I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
