She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
