I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
