I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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