just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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