I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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