remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
