Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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