hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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